Kelly Brook’s Wearing a Bikini

If you read this site, you’d just assume I hate full-figured women and only date Victoria’s Secret models, but that last part being 100% fact aside, I’m man enough to enjoy the radiant splendor of Kelly Brook. And, honestly, my main beef isn’t with curvy ladies as much as it’s with America’s alarming obesity rate on account of Tyra Banks saying it’s cool to let yourself go after she found out Ranch dressing is delicious on everything. But in all seriousness, if the term “real woman” was applied to more people like Kelly Brook instead of, I dunno, let’s say Snooki maybe I wouldn’t have such a stick up my ass- No, wait, it’s Candice Swanepoel. Ha! That’s where you went.

Kelly Brook IN Bikini

After what seemed like 40 days and 40 nights wandering Pippa Middleton’s ass-less desert, it’s nice to get back to a true beacon of English grace and beauty. So, here’s Kelly Brook and her, if I may speak the King’s, massive jugs in Italy again this morning. How Prince William didn’t lock those in a tower and make them his bride is probably why these people lost that war to take away our second amendment rights before they were even invented. Wacky Brits with your time travel. God love ya.

Kelly Brook in her pajamas

Here’s the thing about Kelly Brook. Some of you think she’s fat. I think she’s curvy. It’s a matter of frigging opinion. Anyway, my problem with these pictures is that the busy print on Ms. Brook’s pajamas combined with the loose, billowy fabric doesn’t really do anything to silence the critics. I know she’s a sexy woman. Perhaps when she appeared at the Tatler Pajama Party in London, she could’ve chosen something a little more flattering. Her cleavage and her legs look awesome. Maybe a nightie that highlights those two areas would’ve been a better choice. I still think she woman is gorgeous but I can’t help thinking this wasn’t the best fashion choice she could’ve made.